I'm not married nor do I have any firsthand experience with family or friends renewing their wedding vows so most of my knowledge comes from what I have seen on TV or on the Internet. It seems like vow renewals are everywhere right now and to be honest, I have some issues with it. Prior to everyone and their monkey baby renewing their vows I was under the impression that it was something that your grandparents would do during their 50th anniversary party...not that you got to have a whole new wedding whenever the mood strikes. So I thought I would outline my issues and see what you all think.
1) The Time Frame
This is by far the biggest issue for me. Jon and Kate Gosselin renewed their vows after under 10 years of marriage (and we all know how that worked out...) which obviously was an excuse for TLC to throw a destination wedding and cross promote "Say Yes to the Dress." But 10 years to me, when thinking of marriage in terms of a lifetime, just isn't that long. Why not wait until you have been married 25 years or something...that is a little more significant. A girl in my sorority got married this summer in her parents backyard after a very brief engagement because her husband was getting deployed. I sent her my congratulations and she told me that they were going to have a reception and renew their vows when he got back in the spring. The reception I get...only family was at the wedding so they want a chance to celebrate with all of their friends, but why do you need to renew your vows after less then a year?2) The Dress
Isn't your wedding dress is something special and a once in a lifetime type of thing? Just because you are renewing your vows years later and styles have changed you don't get a whole new dress. If you want to wear white that's fine but I just don't get why it has to be another expensive wedding gown. The Duggars are renewing their vows (it's on tonight actually) after 25 years. I'm cool with renewing after 25 years but they also went on "Say Yes to the Dress" and Michelle got this expensive customized gown (I know it was probably free for her but still.) After 18 kids and pregnant with number 19 is wearing a wedding gown really necessary? When you renew your vows you are not a bride again...you are a married woman. If you want to be a bride again...get divorced and remarried.
3) The Party
As I said, it's fine to renew your vows (after many years) at an anniversary party or even as it's own event. But people have entire weddings again...complete with bridesmaids, flower girls and the works. It's like the dress, just because styles have changed or you get some new ideas...you don't get another wedding. Plan a nice party instead.
Anyways, I don't want this to seem like I am anti-vow renewing. I just think that your wedding is such a special day planning another whole wedding takes away from the orginal. But maybe I am wrong? What do you think about renewing wedding vows?
6 comments:
I agree, I think it is for the most part unnecessary! I'd much rather invite friends to an anniversary party! Also, I think that if a couple does want to renew their vows, it would be more special to do it in a private ceremony, where they are reaffirming their commitment to one another. These days, people put way too much emphasis on the wedding planning details and not enough on their marriage, it seems.
I am with you in the fact that I don't get why you would do it so soon. But to each his own. I personally don't want to get married again. Once was enough for me! I don't mind when people celebrating 25 or 50 years do it. Then I feel like it is sweet...
I am with you in the fact that I don't get why you would do it so soon. But to each his own. I personally don't want to get married again. Once was enough for me! I don't mind when people celebrating 25 or 50 years do it. Then I feel like it is sweet...
I couldn't agree more!
I understand where you are coming from with this completely.
The girl from the sorority I do kind of understand though, but I think she should bill it as a wedding and not as a reception. Lots of people elope and then do the large wedding at a later point (see example to come) but that is not really considered a vowel renewal.
When I got married we had the "ceremony" at our pastor's house with just us and a witness (there was a timing situation that is a long story!!) but we still had planned on the big wedding and had it just a few months later (and we didn't call it a reception, because it was a full wedding)
In between those two events, my family who lives very far away from us decided that instead of all of them flying out for our wedding (about 35 people) it would be cheaper to fly my husband and I out there and have a wedding for us. So, yes, I had three "weddings", but they all happened in the first three months of my marriage. Also, I only bought one fancy dress and used it for both of the big ones (the first one was just a dress that I already owned)
The Duggars--I agree completly. I watched the episode last week where she was picking out the dress and didn't understand it. There is no reason for her to wear a wedding dress.
For a renewal I think the rules should be
1. Married at least 25 years.
2. "Bride" wears a nice dress, but not a full-on wedding dress.
3. There are no attendants or flower girls- on the stage is the "bride" the "groom" and the pastor/official preforming the ceremony. No one else!!
(I think I will stop typing now, because I have told you my life story and this is probably the longest comment in blog history!)
Eh, I'd just rather throw a big party where I don't have to wear white and have pictures taken.
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