"trying" conversations

Question for you all...because I find this EXTREMELY strange and I'm wondering if I am way off base.

Why is it acceptable to talk about "trying" to get pregnant whenever you want?

Now I don't mind talking about it with close friends or family. Or even blogging about it. But at work? What? Huh?

This morning my boss (and another supervisor and our admin) were having a LOUD conversation about my boss starting to "try" in two months and how long her and her husband "tried" with their first child. Right in the middle of the office.

It's not appropriate to talk about your sex life at work when you are not "trying," so why does a baby make that suddenly ok? I'm pretty sure if I was telling people how long my boyfriend and I have been "not trying," I would be visited by HR before the conversation was over.

I'm a pretty open person and I love hearing about babies and children. But hearing these conversations (or people who I am not friends with having them with me) bothers the hell out of me! And at work it's just kind of gross!

Does anyone else feel this way? Am I just being prude?

gotta love those sweeping generalizations

There is this guy I work with, we'll call him Bob. Now I would definitely consider Bob one of my "work friends" which may be why these comments really bothered me. If they came from someone I hated I probably wouldn't give them a second thought. I also have no problem with someone being blunt or honest with me...but the context just seemed strange.

The first incident happened over a year ago. We were at a happy hour and another guy I worked with implied that I should be getting engaged soon. I know a lot of people with boyfriends who are my age have to deal with "when are you getting married" question but I really don't. None of my close friends are engaged or married and I don't feel any pressure from my family to get married. So this was really the first time I got asked about it.

I sort of just laughed it off and said something like "not any time soon." Bob however, decided to grill me. He asked how long K and I had been together, how long we had lived together, how old we were etc... Then he said: "well you are not getting married. If he hasn't proposed yet, he isn't going to." Naturally, I got defensive but I didn't want to get into a fight or anything. He is entitled to his opinion. What bothered me is the fact that he needed to say it to me when he knew it would make me feel bad. What's the point in doing that? He doesn't know K or even me all that well so why lump us into his little "theory?"

And it wasn't just that once. He has said the same thing multiple times to me even though every time I just brush it off and say "agree to disagree." But he doesn't stop, it's like he wants me to doubt my relationship or something.

Bob is one of the few people I work with who knows about my plan to quit and go back to school. Yesterday me, him and another guy were talking about it quietly. Out of nowhere Bob asks me if I have ever even taught anything before because I probably won't like it once I get into the classroom. His source was this chick he is dating who was getting her masters in secondary ed. and quit when she had 3 credits left. Apparently she realized she hated teaching. Then he implied that the same thing would happen to me. Once again I had to defend myself and essentially site my entire "experiences with children" resume to him. Why?

Maybe he is just trying to be a friend and warn me of the potential downsides in life. But, I don't understand how you can generalize someone you don't really know. If I want a "tough love" analysis of my life I'll go to someone who can see the whole picture.

Is it weird that Bob's comments bother me?

weddings always bring out the family drama

Here is something I have been wanting to blog about for awhile, sorry if it is kind of long. It's just annoying and I feel like I need to get it off my chest.

First, some back story. I have three cousins on my mom's side of the family. Her sister has one son and her brother has two daughters, I am not that close to any of them, but they are family so I have to see them from time to time. My uncle's oldest daughter, M, is getting married in June in Massachusetts. She got engaged when I was a senior in college and I actually haven't seen her since before that, but my mom has so she knows some details about the wedding. To say that my uncle's family is dysfunctional would be an understatement and my cousins have had to take care of themselves for a long time. M and her fiancee are doing everything on a very small budget with no parental help. While we have a small family her mother (my ex-aunt) has a very large family so M decided that she was only inviting cousin's significant others if they were married and not inviting any cousins under age 18. She is also having a cash bar...but let's not get started on that tidbit.

My sister and I were not upset at all that we couldn't bring our boyfriends and totally understood where she was coming from.

My mom's sister's son, T, was a different story.

T's life is basically one long summer vacation. He was raised by his mom, who divorced her bum husband when T was very young. He never has had any relationship or gotten any support from his father and his mom never remarried. Since it was just the two of them he has been very coddled. He has gone through a lot of jobs, became a pro golfer and tried to "make it" several times, had a bunch of girlfriends and dropped out of college at 18 to get married (that didn't end up happening, thank God.) He is now in his early 30s and still lives with his mom (and is supported by her.) I don't mean to bash him, this is just the way it is. At this point he is finally going to community college so maybe he will start acting like a grown up, but who knows.

When T found out that he couldn't bring his current girlfriend (who he has been dating since the summer) he got all mad about it. My sister has been with her boyfriend for two years and K and I have been together for five years and live together. Neither of us cared at all about not being able to bring our boyfriends but T called M and asked if he could bring this chick. As it was told to me she "hung up on him" which may mean she just ignored the question but still, I was happy she stuck with her guns.

Even though the girlfriend isn't coming the whole thing just pissed me off.

What is it about weddings (and other big events) that make family members who are: 1) not helping to pay and 2) not helping to plan, feel like they have some say over the bride and groom's decisions? And this situation was nothing compared some some stories I have heard from other people/families. I makes me seriously dread the drama whenever I end up getting married.

Did anything like this happen at your own wedding or weddings of friends and family members?

On Vow Renewal

Note: I have never really explained why my blog is called "Curiosity." The simple answer...I am I curious person...I like to talk about different things and find out more about them. So there you go. This post is regarding a topic I am currently curious about.

I'm not married nor do I have any firsthand experience with family or friends renewing their wedding vows so most of my knowledge comes from what I have seen on TV or on the Internet. It seems like vow renewals are everywhere right now and to be honest, I have some issues with it. Prior to everyone and their monkey baby renewing their vows I was under the impression that it was something that your grandparents would do during their 50th anniversary party...not that you got to have a whole new wedding whenever the mood strikes. So I thought I would outline my issues and see what you all think.

1) The Time Frame

This is by far the biggest issue for me. Jon and Kate Gosselin renewed their vows after under 10 years of marriage (and we all know how that worked out...) which obviously was an excuse for TLC to throw a destination wedding and cross promote "Say Yes to the Dress." But 10 years to me, when thinking of marriage in terms of a lifetime, just isn't that long. Why not wait until you have been married 25 years or something...that is a little more significant. A girl in my sorority got married this summer in her parents backyard after a very brief engagement because her husband was getting deployed. I sent her my congratulations and she told me that they were going to have a reception and renew their vows when he got back in the spring. The reception I get...only family was at the wedding so they want a chance to celebrate with all of their friends, but why do you need to renew your vows after less then a year?

2) The Dress

Isn't your wedding dress is something special and a once in a lifetime type of thing? Just because you are renewing your vows years later and styles have changed you don't get a whole new dress. If you want to wear white that's fine but I just don't get why it has to be another expensive wedding gown. The Duggars are renewing their vows (it's on tonight actually) after 25 years. I'm cool with renewing after 25 years but they also went on "Say Yes to the Dress" and Michelle got this expensive customized gown (I know it was probably free for her but still.) After 18 kids and pregnant with number 19 is wearing a wedding gown really necessary? When you renew your vows you are not a bride again...you are a married woman. If you want to be a bride again...get divorced and remarried.

3) The Party

As I said, it's fine to renew your vows (after many years) at an anniversary party or even as it's own event. But people have entire weddings again...complete with bridesmaids, flower girls and the works. It's like the dress, just because styles have changed or you get some new ideas...you don't get another wedding. Plan a nice party instead.


Anyways, I don't want this to seem like I am anti-vow renewing. I just think that your wedding is such a special day planning another whole wedding takes away from the orginal. But maybe I am wrong? What do you think about renewing wedding vows?

Nice day for a quickie wedding

I don't know about you but I am hella sick of the Kardashians. You can't swing a bat at any celebrity magazine or website nowadays without hitting Kardashian. Between Kim's body, Kourtney's baby and Khloe's wedding they are everywhere. And I just don't get the hype. So what if their father was O.J.'s lawyer and one of them had a sex tape? I would rather read about Shiloh's missing tooth.

But back to the Kardashians and Khloe's infamous wedding this weekend. She has been dating the guy...a month. A month! How could you get married to someone after only a month? Now I get the whole "love at first sight" thing, not sure if I believe it myself, but that is another topic.

So let's say it is love (or lust) at first sight, marriage takes more then just love, why not take the time to talk about values, finances, family etc... Why the rush? If you are destined to get married and be together forever what's a few more months?

Did any of you or someone you know get married after a month (or some other really short time) and have it work out? I'm really curious.

Anyways, all the best to Khloe and Lamar (whose name reminds me of Blazing Saddles.) I'm thinking their likelihood of divorce is about 97% but you never know.

{photo found here}

Role Models

The bad behavior exhibited by public figures of late (hello...Kanye, Serena Williams and Rep. Joe Wilson) has got me thinking. In the shower to be specific, which is where my "grand" thoughts tend to hit me.

Is everyone entitled to a freak out now and then? Absolutely. In fact, K would probably say that I average 3-25 random freak outs per week. But, these happen in the privacy of my own home around people who (I hope) will love me no matter how crazy I act.

The way a famous person acts during a televised event is a totally different animal. These people chose to be in the spotlight and need to recognize the responsibility that comes with the fame. I get that we all make mistakes, but what I wish that celebrities would realize is that they are role models and should act that way.

Whether you want it or not, if you are a famous...singer, athlete, politician, whatever...you are going to have kids looking up to you. So many kids today are rude and undisciplined already, so they really don't need to see those behaviors reinforced in their icons.

Curbing the bad behavior of celebrities is a battle that will never end. I know it is idealistic to hope that before a celeb does something rude in public they would consider all of the children who are going to see what they do and think it is "cool," but I can hope.

So that's my rant for the day...and way to go Beyonce for being a positive role model and a classy lady!

Is it too much to ask that an actress be able to talk?

Maybe my frustration at this stemmed from the fact that it happened while driving into work this morning...on a Monday...to a job a hate...after a week at the beach. Or maybe it was because I find it totally insane that someone who is a professional actress, esentially talking for a (very good) living, is unable to string together a few sentences for a radio interview.

The morning show I listen to (only about 5 minutes each morning during my very short commute) was interviewing Alexis Bledel (cute girl, not a huge fan of anything she has done but whatever) about her new movie, "Post Grad," which looks girly and seems like something I could relate to.

It's not like they were asking her hard questions and the interview was probably under five minutes, but Alexis probably said "ummm...you know" at least 75 times. Now I have no problem with acting as a career, it definitely takes talent and drive, but it isn't rocket science. And being able to promote your movies in an effective way is a big part of being a successful actress. So come on now Alexis, getting rid of the "umms" and "you knows" are part of Public Speaking 101. A TV and movie star should know better.

A Friday Morning Rant

Even though I am not married or engaged yet I heard something on the radio while driving into work this morning that really bothered me. The conversation had come from an article but since I missed beginning of the discussion (I was on the phone with K telling him that Hanna ate an ant this morning) I have no clue where this article is.

The gist of the discussion centered around people writing their own/changing the traditional wedding vows. No big deal right? If you want to put your own creative spin on vows more power to you. HOWEVER apparently there is a growing trend of people adding "escape clauses" into the vows. Such as "I promise that if something changes I will respect the time we had together."

Yes, I realize that some marriages don't work out for very valid reasons (abuse, infidelity, drug use to name a few) but too many people seem to put no thought into getting married because they know they can just leave if times get a little bit hard. If you are going to get married, make sure you are in it for the long haul and know that there will be plenty of times where things are not lovey-dovey. That's why they say "for better or worse." It's not "for better until I find something better."

Anyways, I'll get off the soap box now, I hope you all have wonderful Fridays!