Here is something I have been wanting to blog about for awhile, sorry if it is kind of long. It's just annoying and I feel like I need to get it off my chest.
First, some back story. I have three cousins on my mom's side of the family. Her sister has one son and her brother has two daughters, I am not that close to any of them, but they are family so I have to see them from time to time. My uncle's oldest daughter, M, is getting married in June in Massachusetts. She got engaged when I was a senior in college and I actually haven't seen her since before that, but my mom has so she knows some details about the wedding. To say that my uncle's family is dysfunctional would be an understatement and my cousins have had to take care of themselves for a long time. M and her fiancee are doing everything on a very small budget with no parental help. While we have a small family her mother (my ex-aunt) has a very large family so M decided that she was only inviting cousin's significant others if they were married and not inviting any cousins under age 18. She is also having a cash bar...but let's not get started on that tidbit.
My sister and I were not upset at all that we couldn't bring our boyfriends and totally understood where she was coming from.
My mom's sister's son, T, was a different story.
T's life is basically one long summer vacation. He was raised by his mom, who divorced her bum husband when T was very young. He never has had any relationship or gotten any support from his father and his mom never remarried. Since it was just the two of them he has been very coddled. He has gone through a lot of jobs, became a pro golfer and tried to "make it" several times, had a bunch of girlfriends and dropped out of college at 18 to get married (that didn't end up happening, thank God.) He is now in his early 30s and still lives with his mom (and is supported by her.) I don't mean to bash him, this is just the way it is. At this point he is finally going to community college so maybe he will start acting like a grown up, but who knows.
When T found out that he couldn't bring his current girlfriend (who he has been dating since the summer) he got all mad about it. My sister has been with her boyfriend for two years and K and I have been together for five years and live together. Neither of us cared at all about not being able to bring our boyfriends but T called M and asked if he could bring this chick. As it was told to me she "hung up on him" which may mean she just ignored the question but still, I was happy she stuck with her guns.
Even though the girlfriend isn't coming the whole thing just pissed me off.
What is it about weddings (and other big events) that make family members who are: 1) not helping to pay and 2) not helping to plan, feel like they have some say over the bride and groom's decisions? And this situation was nothing compared some some stories I have heard from other people/families. I makes me seriously dread the drama whenever I end up getting married.
Did anything like this happen at your own wedding or weddings of friends and family members?
Thursday, January 21, 2010
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9 comments:
Weddings always bring the crazy out in people. People who I thought would be the least effected by my wedding decisions have gone nuts about the weirdest things. One relative is literally PISSED that I am not doing a garter toss. My half sister keeps making snide remarks about the number of people being invited and how she had no idea how "popular" I was. Ridiculous.
Yes, I had some family drama at my wedding. I don't have time to write about it right now, but I will write more later.
wow, any sort of large family event (i.e. weddings, holidays, and even funerals) can bring out the absolute worst in people!
i think anyone other than the bride and groom - and the parents or whomever is helping to foot the bill - aren't allowed to have hateful opinions regarding decisions.
We did have some drama but we did what we felt was right and some people chose not to come and some people came that weren't invited. I still love all members of my family unconditionally and if you aren't family and you did something that pissed me off I will let you know if you ever try to talk to me. It didn't ruin our wedding at all because I didn't let it.
I should also point out that part of the reason I was so pissed about this is that my cousin, T, in general, annoys me. I have been more mature than him since about age 7.
Also my cousin, M, the bride, tried to drown me once.
Cousins are awesome!
Oh la la la. Don't even get me started on the type of crazy weddings bring out. It's bound to happen at every wedding. DH and I had a small (50) person wedding and you should have seen the drama when I decided not to invite the entire fam. It would have been a crazy 200+ guest list and we were not having it. I'm happy I stuck to my guns because not only we're we able to have the wedding of our dreams that we payed for alone but because our guest list was so small we were able to afford to offer our guests things that we would not have been able to if we were catering to 200.
I take my hat off to your cousin for sticking to her guns even though I do think it's a little tacky she's not inviting couples especially couples who live together but again to each thier own.
Oh gosh...that's part of the reason we decided to do a destination wedding. I knew the past year would have been miserable if we had tried to plan something at home. I would seriously suggest the destination deal to anyone who wants to have a much lower stress level. :)
T is acting like an ass and needs to get over it. And he sounds like my entitled cousin (late 20's, still lives at home, drives me nuts).
I almost bit a hole in my lip when I saw "cash bar". Hahaha.
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If my cousin had tried to drown me I might just call T and tell him to take his gf in my place because I wasn't going to Ms wedding anyway....but that is just me, and I am sure you are much more forgiving and nice than me! Of course I would have to know the whole drowning story to make a decision on that.
My least favorite cousin tried to choke me once. Yeah-cousins are awesome!.....almost as awesome as family weddings!
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