goodbye corporate america

Isn't it amazing how things change without you even noticing it happens? Here you are going along, living life, in a routine. Get up, walk the dog, get dressed, go to work, come home, make dinner, watch TV, go to sleep...do it all again. And then BAM...all of a sudden...change.



Three years ago I had just graduated from college and was in full on panic mode looking for a job. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life so I took basically the first normal seeming job I was offered.



Two years ago K moved to Maryland for law school and we moved into together. Seeing him pursue his dream career made me wonder if I could even find a dream career of my own.



One and half years ago (or so) I realized that what I really wanted to do with my life.


Ten months ago I began making concert plans and applying to schools to become a teacher.


Four months ago I was accepted to LU, the school I will be attending.


Two and half weeks ago I gave my notice at my job.


Today is my last day.


It's been a long time coming, yes, but that doesn't make it seem like any less of a major change.

When I walk out of this building at the end of the day today, the building I have spent so much time in over the past three years, I won't be coming back. Tomorrow morning I will wake up and not go to work. No more counting down the minutes until 5:20 each day. No more scheduled 15 minute breaks each morning and afternoon. No more overtime. No more angry clients. No more teeny tiny cubicle. No more weird acronyms and jargon. No more micromanagement and metrics. No more paycheck (that one hurts more than a little.)

No more being unhappy with what I am doing.


The routine (and boring) life I have had since I left college is over. Time for a new start. Goodbye Corporate America.






(on a side note...my baby brother also turns 18 today...talk about change!)

well...it's done!

I just told my boss I'm leaving. THANK GOD it's over, I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

This morning I literally stared a the email I had written asking her if I could meet with her sometime today. My palms were sweating and I had to force myself to press "send." Then came the hardest part...waiting for her reply. 10 minutes felt like 10 hours, no lie.

Finally she told me she had time before 10 or after 3 today and asked if I wanted to just meet right now, and I figured, why put it off all day?

Since we all have cubicles we went into one of the conference rooms and she asked me what was going on, and I told her "I'm leaving." She said "I knew it," which kind of took me by surprise but then she said 'I always assume that when someone says they need to meet with me privately."

Anyways, from there I just told her the situation and she was really nice about it. She said she was excited for me and that she thought I would be a good teacher. We talked for a little bit about teaching, going back to school etc... and she was fine with my last day being May 19th. I gave her the letter I had written and she told me how it will work with vacation days.

So really I didn't have anything to be anxious about because it really was fine! Now I have 2.5 weeks to get everything in order here and I'll be good to go.

it's the final countdown

Have you notice I am just a little obsessed with this whole quitting-my-job-conversation-with- my-boss thing?

Well in case you haven't, let me further illustrate my obsession...

I have my "official" resignation letter all printed out and signed. And hidden in my desk. Because we know the cleaning people might see it tonight and spill the beans before I can.

I have a draft of an email to my boss asking if I can meet with her at some point saved and ready to be sent as soon as I get in tomorrow. Because one sentence emails take so long to type.

Here is the problem. I have no idea what I am going to say once I get in the room with my boss. And I think blurting out "I QUIT" is considered unprofessional.

So yea, we shall see how it goes. I promise this is my last post about this...well except for when I tell you how it goes tomorrow! How could I leave you having after all this build up? It would be like blogging blue balls.

Any last words of advice?

2010 goals---April update

Seriously is April is almost over? What? Where does the time go? The time has come for another update on my goals for this year. To see the original post and my previous updates click here.

1) Lose 20 pounds by the end of the year.

I'm still doing Weight Watchers and as of my last weigh in I have lost about 10 pounds. I say about because I was up a bit last week! It's slow going but as long as the general trend is downward that is good with me. As far as exercising I have been slacking on that and need to pick it up again. It's just hard to be motivated at the end of the day.

2) Take more pictures.

Let's be honest, I suck at this. But I am going to have some free time this summer and want to use it to get my pictures more organized. I also have a lot of events in the next few months so maybe that will motivate me more to take pictures?

3) Get accepted to a Masters in Teaching program. CHECK!

As you know, I am starting at LU in June and will be very busy with grad school classes and also taking some undergrad requirements at a local community college. I'll be posting more about all that soon! Now that I definitely know where I am going/getting started I'll be modifying this for next month's update but I'm not exactly sure how I will phrase it yet!

I really want to thank all of you for the support you have given me about going back to school. Not to be sappy, but I honestly don't know what I would do without this blogging community! I may not have tons of readers but those of you who do read and comment truly feel like real friends. So there is my sap for the day. Puffy hearts to all of you.

holding pattern

holding pattern: a state of waiting or suspended activity or progress

Or my life this week.

Friday I am going to tell my boss about me leaving, but until then I have to pretend there is nothing going on...and I feel bad about it. Especially today when I had my monthly "one-on-one" meeting with her to discuss my future, performance and goals and I had to somewhat (well maybe even more than somewhat) lie. I really considered just coming clean and telling her today. Which would mean risking her (or more likely her boss) forcing me leave earlier then I want and me missing out on some extra money. Which would suck. I didn't do that.

Blah.

I'm anxious about this quiting thing. Don't get me wrong, I'm super excited to actually do it. It's the conversation that makes me anxious.

Some people at work do know and I was wondering if my boss had any ideas...but after our meeting today I really think I am going to be completely taking her by surprise. The goody-goody in me has issues with that.

On another note...I know this blog has been a little ehhh lately. Blame it on the holding pattern.

i had to restrain myself from frolicking

Today I had my first meeting with my grad school advisor (I'm faked sick to get out of work, and I think I am going to do it again tomorrow...sense the commitment?) We mapped out my entire next year and a half, then I registered for classes! Last night I did a lot of financial aid stuff and got my new school email all set up. This is finally happening and I couldn't be happier! It was a beautiful day to be walking around a college campus and I couldn't stop smiling.

quitter

I'm not a quitter.



In fact, I don't think I have ever quit anything in my life. All of the jobs and internships I have had sort of just came to an end either due to me leaving (to go back to college or go to college) or it was something that only had a set time frame. I never quit any clubs or extracurricular activities either, whenever I would stop, it would always be natural and on good terms. I never even dropped a class in college.


But I will be quitting my job, at the company I have worked with since I graduated college almost three years ago, in a matter of weeks. It's so strange to think about. I'm super excited and happy (which is kind of weird...yay! I'm happy I will have no money coming in!) but I have no idea how to tell my boss.

I have kept my plans very secret so I think this will come as a big surprise to her. While I don't know the exact date I will need to tell her pretty soon to allow two weeks. School starts in June but I am taking some time off before I start to get things in order and also because I will be going out of town for a couple graduations.

I'm going to draft a letter but I don't know if I should just email her the letter or ask to meet with her and give it to her? I don't want to be rude but I also don't want to get into tons of conversations with people about why I am leaving...I'm sure many people I work with will be critical and dealing with it is annoying. Or maybe I am completely wrong.

What do you think? Has anyone ever quit a "grown up" job? How did you do it?

it's time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap

After 9 months of planning, applications, interviews, stress, emails, phone calls and waiting and waiting and waiting some more...I finally have made an official decision as to where I will be going to grad school.




drum roll, please...



School #3!!!! Now to be known as LU.

As many of you know, this was not my original first choice because it will take a bit longer to complete (I should graduate in January 2012), however the more I thought about it the better it just felt to me. The fact that I will be able to work at some kind of job plus how wonderful everyone I have interacted with there definitely were major factors in my decision.

You may be wondering what happened with School #1. First I was told I was on a wait list and if they were able to find enough internship placements they would put me into the class starting this summer (they only have one small "cohort" each year for this program.) Well, they ended up not being able to accept me for this year but did offer me a spot in the 2011-2012 cohort.

Since I had already pretty much decided on LU I told them "thanks, but no thanks" and let LU know right away I would be coming there!

So now I am jumping in, making more plans and seeing where I go from here. It's very scary to think of quiting my job, borrowing money, starting school again and finding a new job (or more likely a couple small jobs) but I am excited to be pursuing my dream. I know once I have a career that I actually want and enjoy all this will be worth it.

2010 goals---March update

So I was trying to do this mid month but I decided to move it more to the end of every month. It just seems to make more sense that way. Click here to see the original post about my goals AND here to see my first update.

1) Lose 20 pounds by the end of the year.
When I posted my first update I had just started Weight Watchers and I'm proud to say I have kept it up and don't plan on stopping! As of Friday, which is my weigh in day, I have lost 8.6 pounds and made my first goal which was 5% of my body weight (that was the first goal they recommended online...I guess if you do the math you will know how fat I am...oh well.) I'm loving Weight Watchers, even though the weight is coming off slowly I feel like I am truly making a lifestyle change. This past weekend I slacked off a bit and I know I will again over Easter, also I haven't been exercising as much as I would like. Hopefully, after Easter I will get back on the fit train and I won't gain weight while I am away for Easter!

2)Take more pictures
I've been a little better about this. Also, I want to get my pictures all organized, my new MacBook will help with that and we are also going to be investing in a large external hard drive. Once I have that I want to consolidate all my pictures on to it.

3) Get accepted to a Masters in Teaching program
Not much has changed since last week (see here for details.) I am still really leaning towards School #3 and have found out more information on it. Yes, it will take longer but I think the pros outweigh the cons. I've been gathering more information from the woman who would be my advisor and she told me if I start this summer I won't graduate until January 2012. I would have loved to be able to finish in a year but an extra 6 months to 1 year (because I might not find a full time teaching job mid year) won't be the worst thing that could.) That being said I don't really want to slam the door on School #1. It's hard...but I want to decide for sure VERY SOON.

decision?

I spent the weekend reflecting. I also spent a lot of time trying to distract myself from completely stressing out. Thank you New Moon dvd and your bonus features, shopping and sleeping in for your assistance with distraction.

Anyways, as many of you know I am planning on going back to school to get my Masters in Teaching, starting this summer. In early February I was accepted to School #3, which I considered my third choice because the program takes a little longer. Due to some application drama and my generally negative feelings on their process I never completed my application with School #2. School #1, as of Friday, I was still waiting to hear.

Since School #1 was taking such a long time to get back to me I began to consider School #3. Weighing the pros and cons it seemed that the only con is that it might mean being in school for longer then a year. A major pro is that it would allow me extra flexibility and the ability to work part time...which would cut down on the amount of money I would need to borrow. That is huge because for one, it would mean not going completely broke and also, with K putting himself through law school, we are already going to have a lot of student loan debt to worry about in the future.

Also, because School #3 is more flexible I would hopefully be able to student teach in the county that I want to work in. While I wouldn't get a full school year of student teaching experience (like School #1) because I could work I would try and substitute as my part time job...and still get my foot in the door that way.

What I am trying to say is that even before this email I got on Friday I was beginning to lean towards School #3. The email was from the director of the program at School #1 and basically said I'm on a waiting list. It's a small program and the size depends on what they can find for internship (student teaching) placements. She said they would love to accept everyone but obviously can't if they don't have placements. Who knows why I wasn't on their first...it could be anything. Honestly, I wish it had been a flat out no because now I just have to wait and see...and time is ticking.

That is why I am considering just going with School #3...I feel like my gut is telling me that's where I should go. But I also don't want to slam the door on School #1. I'm thinking about giving them until the middle of the week, then checking in again.

I need to make plans...and I'm sick of waiting.

Hopefully, this wasn't too rambling. I just needed to get it out. Thank for all of your sweet comments throughout this process...I really appreciate it.

featured!

Today I am a little overwhelmed with the whole grad school situation (I'll fill you in later.) But...on a happier note...I am being featured over at Raindrops and Roses today! Go check it out!

Also, the weather is gorgeous and it's almost the weekend...so I'm trying to stay optimistic.

Happy Weekend!

signs and the waiting game

Why is it that when you are waiting for something you have to be reminded of it every five seconds? Why does everything thing get read into waaay too much? Or does that just happen to me?

Case in point...I still haven't heard back from School #1 (my first choice for grad school.) They told me during my interview that they were hoping to have made decisions by March 1st. It's now the 16th...halfway into the month. What gives?

Last week I emailed the program director and asked when I might expect to know something. No response. Is that good sign that she didn't respond or a bad one? Or is she just out of the office? No clue.

Yesterday I get a mass email about a grant opportunity from someone at School #1. Why am I even getting mass emails to "School of Education Students." Am I just on the mailing list because I applied? Or is this a good sign? No clue.

Today I got an email from my sorority's national office. They are looking to open a chapter at School #1 and gathering information from local alums who may want to help out the new chapter. Is this a coincidence...or a sign?

Maybe the waiting is just making me insane. Tomorrow I'll probably start seeing pictures of the school's mascot in crop fields.

gotta love those sweeping generalizations

There is this guy I work with, we'll call him Bob. Now I would definitely consider Bob one of my "work friends" which may be why these comments really bothered me. If they came from someone I hated I probably wouldn't give them a second thought. I also have no problem with someone being blunt or honest with me...but the context just seemed strange.

The first incident happened over a year ago. We were at a happy hour and another guy I worked with implied that I should be getting engaged soon. I know a lot of people with boyfriends who are my age have to deal with "when are you getting married" question but I really don't. None of my close friends are engaged or married and I don't feel any pressure from my family to get married. So this was really the first time I got asked about it.

I sort of just laughed it off and said something like "not any time soon." Bob however, decided to grill me. He asked how long K and I had been together, how long we had lived together, how old we were etc... Then he said: "well you are not getting married. If he hasn't proposed yet, he isn't going to." Naturally, I got defensive but I didn't want to get into a fight or anything. He is entitled to his opinion. What bothered me is the fact that he needed to say it to me when he knew it would make me feel bad. What's the point in doing that? He doesn't know K or even me all that well so why lump us into his little "theory?"

And it wasn't just that once. He has said the same thing multiple times to me even though every time I just brush it off and say "agree to disagree." But he doesn't stop, it's like he wants me to doubt my relationship or something.

Bob is one of the few people I work with who knows about my plan to quit and go back to school. Yesterday me, him and another guy were talking about it quietly. Out of nowhere Bob asks me if I have ever even taught anything before because I probably won't like it once I get into the classroom. His source was this chick he is dating who was getting her masters in secondary ed. and quit when she had 3 credits left. Apparently she realized she hated teaching. Then he implied that the same thing would happen to me. Once again I had to defend myself and essentially site my entire "experiences with children" resume to him. Why?

Maybe he is just trying to be a friend and warn me of the potential downsides in life. But, I don't understand how you can generalize someone you don't really know. If I want a "tough love" analysis of my life I'll go to someone who can see the whole picture.

Is it weird that Bob's comments bother me?

random thoughts on Monday morning

• Today is the day that School #1 was supposed to have made their admission descions. Not sure how quickly that means I will know something but the waiting is absolutly killing me. I have also been stressing out a lot about student loans...I used to always say if I got into School #1 I would definitly go there and now I have been thinking more about School #3 (which I already got accepted to.) Going to School #3 would mean I could keep up some kind of job while there and thus not have to borrow as much. Blah. It's overwhelming.


• Speaking of going back to school...I am planning on getting a laptop soon. I actually don't have a computer right now I use K's laptop a lot and we also have his desktop set up in our "office" room. My computer from college broke right when we moved in together. I am leaning towards a Mac but I'm not sure. Any advice?


• Has anyone read the Sookie Stackhouse books? I am in desperate need of reading material and since I love True Blood I was thinking about trying them out.


• Finally I am getting my blog makeover! It's being worked on right now so watch out for that soon.


• Don't forget to enter my first ever giveaway by clicking here. You have until Friday at 8:00 pm EST!

all the crap I did this weekend (featuring pictures!)

I went to Philadelphia with my best friends! I had never really been to Philly, except for the airport, so it was nice to see it. Except a lot of the places we were seemed kinda dirty...maybe it was from all the snow?

But before I went I had my interview at School #1. After careful consideration of your advice this is the outfit I went with. I think it worked and I didn't feel overly formal. It was a pretty laid back interview which seemed to go well, hopefully I should know something soon. Please ignore the creepy expression on my face...I was concentrating. K was supposed to take it for me but he was walking the dog and I had to get going.

While in Philly we hit up Geno's for OFFICIAL Philly Cheesesteaks. As a true Cheesesteak fan I was excited for my first and had pretty high expectations.

Here I go. My first bite. And I must say, while it was good, I have had better. In fact I'm pretty sure this pizza place by my parents' house has better Cheesesteaks. And it's in Maryland...take that Philly.

That night I came out of the blog closet under this very creepy chandelier. What is this, seriously? It looks like something from Jurassic Park.

Then I got pretty wasted. No pictures of that...at least none I am posting.

The next morning I got up early to drive home because my parents had given K and I tickets to see a show, which was at 2:00. I literally barfed the entire way down I-95. I couldn't stop when I got home...so we had to miss the show. My mom was a little mad...but she got over it and invited us to dinner. By then I could eat.

And that was my weekend!

fashion advice needed!

Tomorrow morning I have my big interview at School #1. My mom works with some people who have gone through this program and they have told her mixed information about what happens during the interview. So I'm not sure what to expect. Surprisingly I am not that nervous, since I really want to do this I don't think I will have any problem answering questions and I have questions to ask too, always a plus in an interview.

Here is the issue. I don't know what I should wear.

I hate suits, they look horrible on me. When I wear them I look either frumpy or like I'm going to a slutty office mixer. For that reason I only have one that I got at The Limited when I was job hunting post college. Normally for those interviews I wore the suit, which is basic, black with a very small pinstripe, with a white button down shirt. I prefer to wear the suit pants instead of the pencil skirt. I just don't know if I should go super business-y for a school interview. Plus, I am trying to be a teacher so I want show some personality.

So here are my ideas for tomorrow...tell me what you think:

1) Wear the suit with a white shirt. Traditional and kind of boring but safe.

2)Wear the suit with a colored button down. It's a slight variation.

3)Wear the suit with a bright colored turtleneck and perhaps a black statement necklace. A little more of a fun look.

4) Don't wear the suit at all and figure something else out. Maybe a black dress.

Help me please ladies!

2010 goals---1 month update

Remember this post? Where I told you all my goals for this year and promised to update you monthly on my progress? Well here is your first update.

1) Lose 20 pounds by the end of the year.
So far this has been a little disappointing. I actually weight (very, very) slightly more than I did at the beginning of the year. I have done the Shred 18 times. I started really strong but then my knees started bothering me, I went to Boston for longer than expected, and we got lots of snow which made me lazy...excuses I know. I'm going to get back on track and I am happy that I am at least doing something few times each week minimum. It's a big improvement from last year.

The big news this past week is that I started Weight Watchers online. Tuesday was my first day of tracking points and my weigh in day is Friday, so while last week was my first week I don't feel like it is a good representation. This is my first full week. So far I really like being able to track everything online and having access to all of the recipes and guides. I'm going to try and plan out all our weekly meals based on WW recipes or using their "recipe builder." The big thing that I am noticing so far is my portions, especially at dinner, are just too big. Eating out will also be hard so I'm going to try to save up points and plan out what to eat in advance!

2) Take more pictures
I have been doing a little better than last year but still have lots of room for improvement. My first big "event" with my friends of this year is next weekend so that will be a good photo opportunity.

3)Get accepted to a Masters in Teaching program
School 1: My interview will hopefully be sometime soon! It got all messed up because of the snow. Stupid snow.
School 2: Honestly don't know what is going on with these bitches. I don't even know if they have all the right stuff, have lost paperwork or what. Very annoying. I don't think I want to go there even if I do get in.
School 3: ACCEPTED!


Overall, it has been a mixed first month. Can't wait to see what the next one brings!

big news!

I got accepted to School #3!

It's not my top choice because of the structure of the program, but now I know I will at least be going somewhere!

To complete the program they are requiring I take 3 undergrad courses but they will let me start without them as long as I can finish them by May 2011.

I literally just got an email from the Program Director so my official acceptance letter isn't here yet. Obviously I am not going to commit to anything just yet but I am excited to have an option! Yay!

what? huh? (also know as grad school update)

As many of you know, I am planning on going back to school this summer to get my Masters degree in teaching. Since this is going to be a major life change I tried to do everything in advance and began planning this in August.

My applications are all in and I am patiently waiting at this point. Or I would be patiently waiting if this application process hadn't been so UNORGANIZED and STRESSFUL. Maybe because the last time I applied to college I was 17 and had a lot of help from my anal retentive organized mother I didn't realize all the stress....but applying to schools is super stressful. Last night I was trying talking to K and making dinner while my mind was completely reeling. I kept repeating things and forgetting what I just said.

It's just hard with things being up in the air and unable to get a straight answer from anyone. Admissions tells me one thing. The program directors and their staff say something else. All I want to know is what is going to happen with my life.

Anyways, here is what is going on with each respective school...

School 1: This is still my top choice although I have had some issues with lack of response and confusion from them. Finally things seem to be looking positive because as of today I have my admission interview scheduled (this is the only school that requires that.)

School 2: Right now I am beyond pissed at the people I have been dealing with. Tons of mixed messages and changing requirements. Also based on my college transcript review and the extra classes they want me to take I probably couldn't do their one year option even if I get in. Grrr.

School 3: Still haven't heard anything.

I don't want to end on a bad note so here is some exciting news related to teaching. Starting tomorrow I will be helping out with another session of Broadway Babies (it's a drama class for preschoolers I taught in the fall.) I had a lot of fun last time and it will be nice to see some of the kids again.

Random Thoughts on a Thursday Afternoon

-Only a few more hours until my 4 day weekend begins! Jealous?

-I found out today my boss got promoted, I liked him a lot and he definitely deserves it, but I am happier about the fact that when I get a new boss it will take him/her a couple months to get used to the team. Thus they won't be pressuring me to apply for other jobs. I don't want to do that because I am planning on quiting if/when I get into school. My current boss was talking to me about it yesterday and I had to semi-lie. I wish I could be honest about my plans for the future, but I don't trust that I wouldn't get fired. Not sure if that made sense...but oh well.

-Speaking of schools, I still haven't heard anything. Boo.

- My outfit today is really cute (I think.) It's a dress I got from Express a couple years ago and I think was supposed to be for summer, but it is black and brown and I am wearing a black turtleneck and black tights under it. With black booties. Too bad no one at my office ever compliments my clothes...sometimes working with all men sucks.

-All of your comments on my business idea were very sweet! I don't think I will ever want to start my own business but you never know!

-Does anyone know where you can get dog stairs? Hanna sleeps on the bed and likes to get up and down at night. She will jump down but then whine for us to pick her up because the bed is too high. It's getting old.

-The Shred is going well, I have done 3 days so far and am definitly sore. It's not as bad today but last night I was in serious pain. I'm going to stick with it though and even do it on my 4 days off (normally I slack off working out on the weekend but I really want to see this through for 30 days.) Even after 3 days I totally would recomend the Shred to anyone, it seriously kicks your ass.